Hey yall been a minute since I blogged but here I am :)
Today I want to share my perspective briefly on the power of choice.
As most of you know I am an author (still can't believe it) ,and in my first book I shared alot of my relationship experiences. I shared the highs , lows , and the triumphs.
Well before I moved to ATL I took a dating BREAK! Since moving to ATL I've started dating again. Im not going to share all the deets ,but one thing that Ive learned is the power of " Decision".
Some believe there is one person in the world for everyone. Some believe there is a magical formula to make love appear. I have found peace in the fact that there is someone you will Choose to be with for the rest of your life , and if its Gods will coupled with their will they will choose you too.
I think that many great people have been brought together , and chose not to be in relationships based off their preference . Let be clear when I say that I believe preferences matter. They should not be the only deciding factor , but they matter .
God can 100% be for a relationship but it takes two people to agree with God. Unfortunately thats not always the case.
So recently Ive opened my heart to the power of choosing, and also remember I choose to be chosen. Its given me peace that I will NEVER miss the guy God has for me. If its Gods will for you to marry you will.
Its time for single women and men to embrace who we are at the core , develop into the person we were meant to be , and not apologize or attempt to change ourselves when someone does not see our dopeness.
The reality is someone is going to choose YOU!
The other reality is you are going to choose them back!
So lets not sit back and wait for someone to fall into our laps magically ,wrapped in everything we've always wanted. Also lets stop letting rejection run our lives. Instead lets fall so madly in love with ourselves that whether we are chosen are or not we are still comfortable , and confident WITH YOU.
Its June and, I have lived in Atlanta for 3 1/2 months.
Some days I still cant believe it , but I'M HERE!
I have been reflecting on the doors God has opened for me, but also the ones he has either closed or used as a detour.
When I tried to go to school- Doors closed
When I tried again- Detoured into entrepreneurship, but still finished!
When I tried to get married- SLAMMED door.
When I needed more income- God sent me Itworks.
When I tried to give up- God sent me a mentor.
I had been privately asking for one too. I needed to understand my gifts, and this calling on my life everyone saw but me. Minister the gospel they said...I was like yea how? I knew God made me different so just throwing my into the pulpit WAS NOT happening. However I needed clarity. This was HUGE door God opened. I not only had I received my mentor ,but also a community of people who gave me language for my life. God used a detour to open a door through my business partner for my destiny . Yes mt business. Keep reading it will make sense.
In the most devastating season of my life ,my business partner was the destiny link to mentor. One invite to a conference (I didn't want to go to) changed my life. What most people don't know is my mentor is connected to the church I attend now. Who knew back then that there would be a church launch in Atlanta for this particular network, and God would want me there to be apart.
It wasn't my plan at all trust me, I hated Atlanta. However its amazing to me how I started out wanting to stop bar tending and working so hard , but found It Work global, which led me to my friend/business Partner LaTia, which led me to my mentor , who was connected to a major part God sending me to Atlanta.
So take a look over your life. Its all connected. Your next door could be hidden in your next risk.
I thought I was just going to help women lose belly fat. God had a much big plan.
I had to trust the detours that led to destiny doors. Trust yours :)
Having a mentor is necessary for EVERYONE! You need someone to help you move and navigate in life.
Right now Im running a special :)
$25 (30 min Sessions)
Covering Prayer , direction , strategy , and whatever else Holy spirit needs us to address in our time.
Purchase you session below , and I will send you an email with further details.
thx for stopping by my blog :)
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Hey guys :) Welcome back to my blog! Today I am going to share how keeping my cookie has been such a huge blessing in my dating life.
Lets be honest when you date someone , give it up ,and then it ends you don't feel good. There is a piece of you missing that quite frankly you can never take back!
If you have read my book www.jennifermichellem.com/books.html you know that my past relationships were not much fun and ended in heart break numerous times.
One thing that changed was keeping my legs closed.
Face it when you have sex with someone you connect on a deeper level , your emotions lead the way vs your intellect and spirit.
How many times have you made a healthy decision from your emotions......I wont wait lol
We just dont in relationships especially so I decided to set boundaries....Starting with SEX!
So Here are 3 ways its helped me.
1. CLARITY! I cannot begin to tell you how easy it is to decide whether a guy is worth my time or not. I've tried the other way trust me and would wake up like why did i do this? Knowing good and well I was NOT really interested in the guy. When you don't have cloudy ,soul tie emotions you wont waste time on the wrong person. PERIOD!
Also its going to give you time to create an organic connection with your girl/guy of interest.
2. I am child, and STD FREE! Means alot because my desire is to have a family with both parents involved . I also don't want any disease. Keeping my legs closed has been a key to obtaining both goals. Less stress in Jesus name! This is the only 100% proven birth control.
3. Peace of Mind.
There is nothing like not having to worry about being convicted by God . I live to honor and please him. Now Im not perfect nor will I ever be. However if I can do my best to please him I WILL :)
Finding time to get in your word daily can be a struggle for many reasons. Some of us just haven't found a genuine interest in it. Some of us make excuses about time, kids , work etc (which aren't valid FYI). Whatever it is please understand that there is an adversary who is encouraging your lack of reading , and he rejoices every day you skip out on God. Let me share on some reasons God wants you to Read, and why Satan doesn't.
1. Satan wants you stupid! Sorry there is no easier way to say this. The word is instruction and a tool to test EVERYTHING that seems "true". The word is how we protect ourselves from false teaching, witch craft , and all the new age crap that is coming out. Satans plan is to make you ignorant to his.
2 Timothy 3:16-17 ESV / All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.
2. Satans desire is for us to become lost and in lured into his trap. The word gives us a road map. The more time we spend in God presence the more he guides us. When we need answers the word provides. When we are fearful the word makes us bold. When we don;t understand the word gives us peace.
Psalm 119:105 ESV / Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
3. Satan wants us to give up on God. He wants you to lose your zeal. The word is given to us to keep going in days of strength and weakness.
Romans 15:4 ESV / For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.
4. Satan want us to stay the same. He doesnt want us to grow. His desire is that we arent convicted to be like christ, but that we stay comfortable in sin. The word cuts , it changes you , it makes you look like God. It will shift ,and change your perspective. Satan is trying his very best to stop you from this.
Hebrews 4:12 ESVFor the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
5. He wants you to fight carnally. Meaning in your own strength. When the word clearly tells us the weapons of our warfare are spiritual. We use the word to fight him in adverse situations. By relying on the word we show God we trust him & we show satan he loses. He hates to lose so he keeps you out of your word. rendering you defenseless.
Proverbs 30:5 ESV
Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.
If you are finding it hard to read your word. Ask God to deepen your desire, expose your heart , cleanse your mind ,and fill you with his spirit. Then actively fight pass your feelings and excuses and set time aside. God wants us to meditate on his word day & night so we wont sin against him(psalms 119:11). The more time you spend with God the deeper your relationship grows. You learn about his heart ,and plans for your life. You begin a love journey that will never run dry. God is the most loyal person on your team. Spend time with him in his word. The next time you say you love God ask yourself when was the last time you spent time with him. How can you love someone you don't commune with?
Now please don't think Im perfect patty because this blog has convicted my heart the entire time. Lets take these convictions to God , repent , and dig in daily.
John 1:1 ESV n the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
comment below and share with a friend :)
Love yall !
Jennifer M. M.
P.S. You just spent time in the word reading this blog (smile)
Ephesians 6:10-18Amplified Bible (AMP)The Armor of God10 In conclusion, be strong in the Lord [draw your strength from Him and be empowered through your union with Him] and in the power of His [boundless] might. 11 Put on the full armor of God [for His precepts are like the splendid armor of a heavily-armed soldier], so that you may be able to [successfully] stand up against all the schemes and the strategies and the deceits of the devil. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this [present] darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) places. 13 Therefore, put on the complete armor of God, so that you will be able to [successfully] resist and stand your ground in the evil day [of danger], and having done everything [that the crisis demands], to stand firm [in your place, fully prepared, immovable, victorious]. 14 So stand firm and hold your ground, having[a]tightened the wide band of truth (personal integrity, moral courage) around your waist and having put on the breastplate of righteousness (an upright heart), 15 and having [b]strapped on your feet the gospel of peace in preparation [to face the enemy with firm-footed stability and the readiness produced by the good news]. 16 Above all, lift up the [protective] [c]shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God.
18 With all prayer and petition pray [with specific requests] at all times [on every occasion and in every season] in the Spirit, and with this in view, stay alert with all perseverance and petition [interceding in prayer] for all [d]God’s people.
Its Been a while since I wrote about my single journey simply because I put it all in my book www.jennifermichellem.com/books.html. :)
However things have shifted and changed in my life so lets get an update poppin. I havent been on a date in about a year, and while this could be daunting for some its a reflection to me of God divine protection. Also my decision not to waste time with anyone who just isnt it!
As most of you who have been following know I receive ALOT of prophetic insight about my husband so Im pretty clear on who he is and is not. This helps me save time.
Now I have recently turned 30 whoop whoop and while some women dread not being married or in a relationship...I'm over here like " Im a grown woman , I can do what ever I want" (beyonce Voice).
My 20s were eventful and I achieved way more than I ever set out to ....so Im coming into 30 like lets get it.
Now how do I feel about being single?
On the real it sucks sometimes! lol Just being honest , but its not all the time.
Majority of the time Im satisfied with where I am because Im 100% confident in what God promised me.
Does this mean the enemy doesn't try it ? Of course he does but I have to quickly shift my mindset back to what God said.
LEAVING me Satisfied :)
Now as I am entering my 30s I feel like my life kicked into high gear. Its time for me to continue this legacy I plan to leave for my family. I know my hubster is near, and possibly even checks my social media daily waiting on God to release him to speak (idk lol) but where ever he is I am expectant of his arrival. No longer anxious just expectant.
So here is how I stay focused , and unbothered
1. I know what God has says , and I rehearse it in my heart often. This keeps my mind on the right track.
2. I know what I deserve , and What I dont deserve. Be clear that God has called for a man to love you like christ loves the church. If it doesnt mirror that I dont want it.
3. I make sure not to have time fillers. No one texting just because , no pointless dates , or anything else that I dont feel is God sent. Period.
4. I stay busy. No idle time .If you are FULLY in tune with God you have destiny assignments and deadlines. I often think how a hubby and kids will fit in lol!
5. Accountability . You need people that you check in with before you decide to pursue/ or allow someone to pursue . In a multitude of counsel there is safety.
'Today is my 30th birthday and I am thankful for what my 20s taught me. I am also excited about what my 30s will bring. I didn't complete " my plan" but Gods plan went pass my expectations. I am going to go through a series of things I've learned and the go live via facebook LIVE and periscope later :)
30 things Ive learned in my 20s
1. Go to College! although I didn't finish at NCCU, I did have the BEST experience there. I learned a lot , made many mistakes ,and made lifetime friendships.
2. If you don't want kids and aren't going to abstain from sex USE BIRTH CONTROL. Now Ive been abstaining for a few years now but I promise birth control held me down in my early 20s. No need bringing kids into the world because you cant control your flesh. I rather you abstain but I do realize everyone WONT!
3 Find out what friendship is, and what it is NOT. Qualify the people in your life ,and realize everyone isn.t meant for forever. Also don't be so broken that you throw away a treasure.
4. Fall in love ,and learn along the way what you want/deserve.
5.Find christ :) I was baptized in my 20s and accepted the lord into my heart 4EVER
6. Obey the Law. Plan and simple. Get my book for the story.
7. Learn to think for yourself . Don't be influenced by everyone and everything.
8. Actually read your bible. I feel sorry for the younger generations because they don't understand that "woke" is really sleep and witchcraft is running rampant. Read and study for yourself.
9. Don't let "perfectionism" stop you from experiencing pain. You need to feel it. Its ok. So who care what people think.
10. Let your pain produce products. " Good girl, Gone bad , Gone Holy" by me :)
11. Domestic abuse is real and you need to leave the 1st time.
12. Take risk. I joined It works Global for $99 at 24 and havent worked a 9-5 since making a healthy 6 figure income :)
13.learn how to manage your money and save.
14. Learn how to pray. For yourself , family , spouse , children , strangers etc.
15. Find your purpose.
16. Create boundaries for your life.
17. Work on your credit
18. Forgive yourself :) and others QUICKLY!
19. Don't be afraid of Deliverance. There are things in your life you don't even know are holding you back. Going through it with people who are skilled will change your life.
20. Forgive your parents. ex. If one was absent forgive them and start over.
21. You know you have truly matured when you can be happy for someone else's blessings.
22. Hesitation and is an answer and "No" is a complete sentence
23.Take the high road its never crowded
24. Playing Victim will get you NO WHERE
25. The best way out of something is through.
26. Put old things away. You will at some point have to grow up.
27. Try new things :), Move to a NEW city :)
28. Be grateful for the small things.
29. Your perspective shapes your reality. Excuses do too. Ditch them
30. Never give up. Quitters NEVER win. Dont be one.
Lastly I was nominated for an award for most inspiring take a second and vote for me. Link is below :)
We live in a world where if we are not careful, we will start living like one another , speaking like others , and basing our lives off the opinions of people.
There is positive influence , negative influence and then there copy cat influence. What is copy cat influence? The type of influence that makes you do what someone else is doing just because someone else say to do it that way. We have to be careful not to latch onto someones dream ,idea , way of thinking ,or identity and completely lose ourselves in the mix.
I had to go completely left to get right.
Back in 2012 I joined the MLM world when everyone was like " Girl don't do that its a pyramid scheme". Them telling me from a perspective that wasn't factual. Simply because they themselves don't know what a pyramid scheme is.
Not only did I take a different route to freedom financially, but spiritually too. I didn't get caught up in different religions. I began believing in Jesus Christ because I sought him out for myself.
The point i'm making is do what works for YOU!
Too many people get caught up with trends not knowing if the trend is in fact for them. One major key to keeping yourself in your own lane is quieting the crowd ,and listening to God speak to you.
The quieter I became the more I could hear. Now I read books , I listen to pericopes , youtube video, etc. However I take whats for me ,and leave whats not! Just become you become emotionally charged when someone is talking doesn't mean its for you. It means they have connected with something that is pulling on your heart strings. Give yourself a moment to let you emotions quiet down your discernment to kick in.
So how do you process through the influence of people.
1. Makes sure you check in with God 1st. "Hey God is this for me?" and wait for confirmation.
2. Ask yourself why this opportunity , way of doing something , product, course , etc is going to add to your life.
3. Consult a mentor , Pastor or trusted WISE friend.
The point of this blog is to help you make decisions that fit your life. Sometimes you will literally just get inspired from someone to be the best you ,and not to duplicate their life. Its a blessing to be you. Theres something inside of you screaming to get out! Please dont get loss trying to be someone God never intended you to be simply because you took a dose of "influence".
Ask God let him confirm who or what is going to influence your character , behavior and development.
What If I told you that your breakthrough was just a response away? Just a shift in your perspective ,prayer life , and declaration will breed the results you are looking for. I remember days of doubting ,and believing the lies I would allow to cloud my thought process. I would agree with what seemed hard , impossible ,or unattainable.
Then one day I decided (key word) that my reality wasn't going to dictate what my faith could change. See the thing about faith ,and a negative reality is that they cannot co-exist. When my reality tells me no my faith tells me yes!
Now this doesn't mean you can believe things outside of Gods will ,and just expect them to appear. Not what I am saying. I am saying that when you come to agree with what God wants for you can change your reality.
" The first step in changing your future is changing your mind"
So lets visit a story in the word.(Mark 7) There was story where a woman asked Jesus to deliver he daughter, because she was possessed with a demon. she like everyone else heard of the miracles Jesus was performing ,and she wanted in. Now she technically wasn't "privileged" to receive this miracle because she was a gentile. Now even though she was a gentile she still was bold enough to fall at Jesus feet ,and present her request. Her desperation caught his attention. Moving forward in the story even after she requested deliverance for her daughter Jesus first response wast here you.
Often times we forget that God first response to us isn't always a yes. Sometimes he test our faith. In this case she was tested, but she didn't budge!
Jesus was please , He said her response was good ,and to go home to a delivered child. We can learn a lot from this woman she was expectant ,and hopeful even when she didn't get the response she wanted the firs time. She knew what she wanted/needed ,and KNEW Jesus could provide.
Today take a look how you are responding to the unanswered prayers you have before God. What does your posture look like? Are you waiting in faith or worry?
Worry is a blockage to Gods blessings. start praying , and speaking in faith for what you are waiting for.
P.S Perspective shifting isnt always easy and you probably need my help
Yea that was totally me. Thank God for this season of rest though(i need it). Im reading the story of Martha and Mary in the bible today and I am instantly reminded of the season God has me currently in. Im now Mary ( my heart yearns for even Jesus as I type this). I was used to serving , helping my pastors , helping a friend, writing my book, working on content, conferences ,making sure everything was taken care of but.... ME!
God is so gracious that he can see you doing " the most" ,and still love you, but at some point in all your doing you will come up empty. Mary wanted his presence ,and Martha wanted his affirmation. When you learn to rest in his presence his affirmation is already there .
Martha was too busy comparing what she was doing to Mary so she couldn't see how she was in error. How many times have you went off , and did something just for the sake of " seeming" like you are doing better than someone? or Maybe you did it just because it seem like "the right thing to do".
The comparison game is tricky ,and will walk you into a world of misery if you don't check it at the door. Mary was serving God in her worship to him by sitting at his feet, she took advantage of the " visitation" from Jesus.
How many times have you felt the presence of God trying to whisk you away in a moment of clarity , peace ,or instruction ,and you were " too busy". The kids needed this , your job needed this , emails were over flowing , phone blowing up with business/family/friends , I mean everything all at once. Even as I am writing this blog I am being distracted so trust me when I say "I get it ".
I want you to consider this. We serve A God that comes to see about all of us , all the time , day in and day out. How about being more intentional about making sure we aren't too busy to receive him. The last blog talked about making room for God to bless you. Lets make room for God to commune with us.
So for the next 7 days Friday-Friday challenge yourself to just sit ,and rest at the feet of our savior. Now I mean rest not try to impress him with what we can do. Give him an opportunity to show you how he loves you no matter what you do, and simply for who you are. You will kill the spirit of perfectionism Everything you decide to simply rest , and not strive for acceptance you've been given freely.
Luke 10:38-42New King James Version (NKJV)Mary and Martha Worship and Serve38 Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’[a] feet and heard His word. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.”
41 And Jesus[b] answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. 42 But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.”
Today while I was working, I received a call about a package I ordered (that was now late) and they asked could they bring it early (as in tomorrow early). When I tracked the shipping a few days ago It said it would be here next week. So I told the woman on the phone " Yes please bring it early".
As I got off the phone in excitement God Spoke to me. He said " Because you made room for it, its coming early". So I remembered just the day before I had clear the space out in my home so I didn't have to later.
God is asking you to make room for the blessings you've ordered through prayer. Make room for the money coming in , make room for the baby you desire , make room for the husband or wife you are praying for, make room for the promotion, make room for the healing.
Hear me clear MAKE ROOM!
Tis the season to declutter and make room for everything God promised you.
There are blessings coming this season before they were scheduled simply because you made room.
James 2:14-26New King James Version (NKJV)Faith Without Works Is Dead14 What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? 17 Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
18 But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your[a] works, and I will show you my faith by my[b] works. 19 You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble! 20 But do you want to know, O foolish man, that faith without works is dead?[c] 21 Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered Isaac his son on the altar? 22 Do you see that faith was working together with his works, and by works faith was made perfect? 23 And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.”[d] And he was called the friend of God. 24 You see then that a man is justified by works, and not by faith only.
25 Likewise, was not Rahab the harlot also justified by works when she received the messengers and sent them out another way?
26 For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.
be encouraged share with someone who needs encouragement while they receive what God is sending.
Jen M :)